NGOS CALL FOR URGENT,
COORDINATED STRATEGY ON WILD COAST
TO ENSURE PEOPLE BENEFIT
Better Environment,
Better Tourism, Oceans,
Parks & Communities of Hope
A FARCE AND A SHAM ~
THE NEW SOUTH AFRICAN HUNTING REGULATIONS
2006 BOTSOC PLANT FAIR
WCPA Science, Knowledge and Management
Strategic Direction Newsletter no 1
POSITIONS SOUGHT
Tailpiece
Hi again,
Herewith, some snippets from various sources.
I appeal to you to send me items to distribute to our members for the Cleft Stick, the Game Ranger magazine and to be posted on the web site. These are your magazine and website, so ensure it gets the news that you would like to see in it.
Please let me have any changes to your physical address, phone no. or e-mail address to keep the database up to date.
Thanks to all of you who have made the effort. Please will any of you who know of members who do not get this “electric” Cleft~Stick, & have access to e-mail, pass their address along to me.
Don Yunnie
7 Chalet Drive, Hilton, 3245, South Africa Local Tel & Fax (033) 343 1534 Int. Tel & Fax (+2733) 343 1534 cell 082 377 7562 E-mail dyunnie@xsinet.co.za.
If you do not wish to receive this e-mail newsletter please send a blank e-mail to me at the above address with the word “unsubscribe C~S ” as the message heading.
It is with deep regret that we have to report the death of a member.Wrio Denny Member no 668
It is with deep regret and sadness I must inform you of the shocking and senseless death of Wrio Denny. He was shot and killed in his home by intruders on Friday night.
In June 2002, Wrio was elected National Chairman of Game Capture, which became Veterinary Wildlife Services. Wrio recently arranged to have two houses built for HRs doing VWS duty in Kruger Park, he was in the process of furnishing the houses. Wrio had arranged several bush camps for HRs at Sand River Camp to raise funds. Wrio had also organised the donation of the beautiful Lion Trophy, which was presented to the winning Quiz team at the Indaba. He was a very keen birder and had a very impressive list of birds, he managed to see a number of birds at the Indaba and was thrilled about seeing a Narina Trogon while on the tree course.
Wrio will be greatly missed by VWS and the Johannesburg Region and we extend our deepest sympathy to his family and friends.
Funeral arrangements have not yet been made, as soon as I have the details I will inform everyone.
Kind Regards
Rosalind Lindeque
616-4242 pm
072 445-3693
MEDIA RELEASE, For immediate release, 5 July 2006 NGOS CALL FOR URGENT, COORDINATED STRATEGY ON WILD COAST TO ENSURE PEOPLE BENEFIT
Five of South Africa’s major environmental Non Governmental Organisations (NGOs) (the Botanical Society of South Africa, the Endangered Wildlife Trust (EWT), the Wilderness Foundation, the Wildlife and Environment Society of South Africa (WESSA) and the World-Wide Fund for Nature - South Africa (WWF-SA) have agreed to a collaborative approach to address sustainable development and environmental conservation on the Wild Coast. This region, still largely ecologically intact, offers us the opportunity to break from current short-term, exploitative development models which are unsustainable, to a more locally-driven, socially-equitable model designed to benefit local people.
The NGOs support development within the region, but only if such development is undertaken within the context of a strategic framework. Such a framework should be designed to optimise the options available from sustaining the rich natural assets of the region to benefit the majority of the local people. The NGOs are greatly concerned that current planning is ad hoc, with decisions apparently being taken at a variety of levels, without due consultation between relevant authorities and without a coherent and sustainable regional development plan in place. The current piecemeal development approaches will compromise the long-term capability of the region to provide for the upliftment of local people and will require ongoing expenditure in mitigation of degradation.
All of the required information for a comprehensive regional development plan is now available through a number of recently completed studies, for example the Wild Coast Bioregion Strategic Environmental Assessment (SEA). What is now urgently required is an analysis of this information to select sustainable development options for each part of the region based on local ecosystem potential, taking due cognisance of local conditions and local needs, within a national context.
The NGOs call on government to urgently initiate a coordinated planning process. This will entail bringing together relevant agencies at all levels i.e. national, provincial and local, to utilise the information available to derive a sustainable development blueprint for the region which meets local needs within the broader national context of meeting the Millennium Development Goals. By prioritising and planning for the maintenance of ecological integrity, and thus the ongoing provision of ecosystem services to underpin socio-economic growth, it is possible to achieve sustainability together with poverty eradication. The NGOs offer our combined extensive knowledge, expertise and organisational resources to assist with this process.
Issued by:
Botanical Society of South Africa (BotSoc): 021 7972090
Endangered Wildlife Trust (EWT): 011 4861102M
Wilderness Foundation: 0413730293
Wildlife and Environment Society of South Africa (WESSA): 033 3303931
Worldwide Fund for Nature- South Africa (WWF-SA): 021 888 2800
Better Environment, Better Tourism, Oceans, Parks & Communities of Hope
SPEECH DURING NATIONAL COUNCIL OF PROVINCES POLICY DEBATE ON BUDGET VOTE 27: ENVIRONMENTAL AFFAIRS & TOURISM, BY MARTHINUS VAN SCHALKWYK, MINISTER OF ENVIRONMENTAL AFFAIRS & TOURISM IN CAPE TOWN ON 8 JUNE 2006
Introduction
Chairperson, 8 June is an auspicious date for this policy debate falling as it does in the middle of the Year of Deserts and Desertification, at the start of Antarctica Month, at the end of National Environment Week, and on World Ocean's Day.
There is a proverb which our colleagues from KwaZulu-Natal will know that says 'Akusagaywa ngoludala, kugaywa ngolusha'. Literally translated it means that we no longer grind with old stones, that things have changed.
Ours is a country renewed. Ours is a people emboldened and energised both by the fires of our shared past and by the hope and promise of future prosperity.
When the President stood before Parliament, at the start of the year, he captured this spirit in his challenge to us all to build the Age of Hope. This shared national endeavour asks much, but promises more especially in this portfolio. As we celebrate ten years of Constitutional protections, it is the environment and tourism that increasingly takes centre-stage in our efforts to ensure that hope is grounded in lasting improvements, sustained growth, and a better life for all South Africans.
Oceans of Hope: Mariculture & Regional Partnerships to Boost Food Security
Chairperson, since this is World Oceans Day let us reflect for a moment on the importance of our marine and coastal resources in sustaining hope. The Honourable Members will no doubt be aware of our process to allocate long term commercial fishing rights which thus far has achieved much in transformation and empowerment, but the reality is that the fish stocks of Africa and South Africa are at all-time lows.
Take for example the spawning biomass of deepwater hake which dropped from 1050 000 tons in 1917 to less than 200 000 tons in 2004. Catches of West Coast Rock Lobster have declined from 10 000 tons in 1970 to less than 2000 tons today. Yet the 2005 World Fish Report reveals that just to maintain our current per capita fish supply of almost 7kg/year will require a 20% increase in production by 2015, and a 32% increase by 2020. Simply put - our oceans alone cannot meet these needs, there is simply not enough fish, and in the medium to long-term widespread food insecurity threatens the hopes of our people.
To meet the shortfall South Africa must move swiftly to develop and expand our marine aquaculture industry one of the issues that the Chairperson of our Select Committee, Rev. Peter Moatshe, has staunchly advocated for some time. Worldwide this sector represents more the R650 billion in global value, yet South African mariculture accounts for only about R3 million and about 2500 jobs. Our Department is committed to develop the necessary legal framework, aggressively build the needed capacity and skills, and to help drive sustainable growth of the industry ensuring both competitiveness and significant SMME participation.
Regionally our Department has also been working closely with our neighbours on the West Coast to improve the management of the Benguela Current Large Marine Ecosystem (BCLME). Together with compliance and enforcement initiatives like our joint SADC marine patrols, these programmes are helping us to protect fish stocks across national borders, for all the people of Southern Africa. I am pleased today to announce that we will, before the end of this year, be signing an agreement with Namibia and Angola to establish an Interim Benguela Commission to advise on transboundary fish management, as well as the impacts of human activities, like fishing and mining, on our marine environment.
International Partnerships for Hope
Chairperson, through the growing success of our role in regional programmes like the Benguela initiative, South Africa is earning a reputation for excellence in environmental leadership. This is one reason why we have been chosen by the Global Environment Facility (GEF) to host the International Waters Conference in 2007.
The news of our having secured the hosting of this conference builds on the excitement and value to South Africa of our hosting later this year of the GEF Annual Assembly - one of the most important global forums for deciding on allocations of environmental financial assistance. I can confirm today that South Africa has officially decided to become a donor to the GEF allocating R38,4 million over the next five years. This will provide us with a formal voice in the negotiations to replenish the GEF which we will use to advance a more equitable and even-handed approach to resource allocation for African countries.
South Africa has taken on ever-growing international commitments in tourism and the environment. Our Department is now either the lead Department, or one of the major drivers, in 33 separate international Agreements, Conventions and Protocols. To ensure success in these global partnerships we have created a specialised new unit within the Department International Cooperation & Resources - to drive and coordinate our participation. In the past year alone we have already seen the fruits of this investment with South Africa making major international contributions and advancing the shared interests of Africa - like our assistance in unblocking the climate change negotiations in Montreal; the facilitation of a compromise deal on the handling of Genetically Modified Organisms at the meeting of the Convention on Biodiversity in Brazil; and the negotiation of common African policy positions on water and sanitation within the Millennium Development Goals +5 Summit in New York.
Tourism for Hope: Growth & Jobs Through Tourism Masterplan
Chairperson, all of these international meetings, conventions and conferences also form a key component of our tourism strategy. We have achieved much in leisure tourism, and plan much for event tourism, but this year has seen the third pillar of the Masterplan business tourism reach new heights with our Business Unusual global marketing campaign. It is our heritage of dialogue and unique approaches, our ability to merge centuries of African wisdom with the demands of modern business, that sets us apart and makes business tourism in South Africa so exceptional and why we will break into the Top Ten global conferencing destinations in the next four years.
We need to shoot for the stars when it comes to our ambitions for tourism. We need to set ourselves goals like finding it hard in 2010 to find anyone who has only been to South Africa once. We need tourism and hospitality products of such excitement and quality that the question is not if, but when to return. We need young people, professionals and pensioners across the length and breadth of South Africa who accept tourism as their own and who make hospitality their personal business. Only then will we meet and exceed the targets that we have set for tourism success: 500 000 new jobs, 8,5 million international arrivals and R100 billion contribution to the economy within five years.
The Honourable Members may have seen our announcement of a new R20 million Equity Fund to support small and medium sized Wheel and Tour Operators. This, like the R185 million that we will, over the next three years, be investing in the Tourism Enterprise Programme (TEP), is funding that will be used to greatly expand the services and support that we offer to smaller tourism businesses. Our initial TEP target for these next three years is in excess of R1,8 billion in transactions facilitated, more than 2000 enterprises assisted (75% of which will be BEE), more than 20 000 tourism SMME trainees taught in over 1200 courses, at least 840 local government officials trained, and at least 1000 SMMEs on a new 2010 suppliers database.
Communities of Hope: EIAs, Air Quality, and the NSSD
Chairperson, the Honourable Members will tell you that there are communities across our country for whom hope entails any measures to improve their environment and access to basic resources. One needs only to speak to families like those in the South of Johannesburg where low-cost housing has been developed alongside mine dumps, landfill sites, and under high-voltage power lines; or communities in the North West province whose homes have been flooded by damage to sensitive wetland systems; or to the people of Van der Bijl Park where serviced plots lie immediately adjacent to industry belching forth pollution. To build the Age of Hope we need first to build communities of hope.
This is why we have announced the expansion of our existing EIA processing unit and a new unit to build capacity and provide support to other authorities involved with EIA. This combined increased capacity will drive our new Environmental Impact Assessment (EIA) regulations. I am pleased today to also announce that on the issue of the quality and independence of EIA practitioners we expect an application for the creation of a national EIA Practitioners Registration Authority to reach us by April next year the result of which will be firm self-regulation and an industry-wide improvement of EIA standards. We also spoke this week about new Ambient Air Quality Standards for South Africa to scrub the brown haze from our skies. We will, by the end of this year, identify South Africa's second air pollution Hot-Spot using unique aircraft infrastructure from our SA Weather Service to analyse the air over areas like the Eastern Highveld, Gauteng, Durban, Richards Bay, Cape Town, and parts of the Eastern Cape.
2006 has also been a year in which South Africans in every community have come face to face with the realities of resource constraints. We have seen major electricity shortages and blackouts; been confronted by the threat of contaminated water supplies; faced flooding and unseasonable storms in some parts, and dams whose water levels continue to fall in others. To address these challenges, and to meet our obligations as global champions of sustainable development, we will, by August, be publishing for public comment our National Strategy for Sustainable Development (NSSD) - a powerful tool for addressing priority issues like water quality and quantity; climate change; waste management; soil loss and pollution; food production; and strategic biodiversity management, within the context of our developmental priorities to address poverty and basic human needs. It is a vehicle that will help us to popularise and build on existing policy frameworks to ensure sustainable development in all South African communities.
Parks of Hope: Expansions, Improvements & New Parks
Chairperson, our National Parks lie at the centre of our South African character. They reflect and strengthen our sense of place; they protect and support our unmatched biodiversity; and increasingly they anchor growth, job creation, and hope through tourism for our communities. Since 1994 we have established five new National Parks and added 379 000 hectares to our Parks system. I am pleased today to announce that we will be adding another 230 000 hectares to our National Parks in the near future. This will include the Knysna Forests and Soetkraal which will become part of Tsitsikamma, the QwaQwa Nature Reserve which will be added to Golden Gate Highlands, and a number of other recently acquired areas in Addo, Namaqua, Mapungubwe, Agulhas and the Karoo National Parks.
Our focus is ensuring that these expansions focus on biomes, like grasslands, that are currently underrepresented in the priority areas identified by our newly published National Biodiversity Strategy and Action Plan. This is also one of the main reasons that, after thorough consultation with local communities and the royal houses, we will be able to formally declare portions of the new Wild Coast National Park before the end of this financial year an area recognised globally as a biodiversity hotspot with more than 1500 plant species alone. It is projected that tourist numbers to the area will swell from the current level of about 170 000 to in excess of 245 000 by 2008, and 270 000 by 2013 creating about 3260 direct and indirect new jobs.
We will also be declaring the new Blyde River National Park on Heritage Day this year. With more than 2000 plant species, of which 163 are Red Data book plants more than the whole of Kruger Park the Canyon and its surrounds contain amongst the richest combination of plants and animals in Southern Africa. With an infrastructure budget of R18 million for the next three years, and work about to start on a R10 million luxury hiking trail, the new park is expected to inject R500 million into the local economy over the next ten years. With 500 planned beds, restaurants, adventure activities and a cableway, Blyde has the potential to become one of the fastest growing malaria-free tourism destinations in Africa.
Conclusion
In conclusion Chairperson, I wish to thank all of our provincial colleagues for the work that has been done in every part of our country in both the environment and tourism. I believe our MECs will agree that, as a team, our portfolio has performed well over the past year, and that the foundations for the Age of Hope have been firmly laid. To Rev. Moatshe and the other members of our Select Committee you have the appreciation and support of our Department.
To our Statutory Bodies, and our Management Team and Department under Director General Pamela Yako, I must also express the thanks of our Deputy Minister, Rejoice Mabudafhasi and myself it remains an honour to work with such talented, dedicated and enthusiastic colleagues.
Ultimately what we debate today the budget policy for Environmental Affairs and Tourism could not be more fundamental to the dreams, aspirations and hopes of our people. A better environment and better tourism is, quite simply, the basic requirement for a better South Africa.
Ngiyabonga. Ndiyabulela. Kea le boga. Enkosi
ENQUIRIES: RIAAN AUCAMP
A FARCE AND A SHAM ~ THE NEW SOUTH AFRICAN HUNTING REGULATIONS.
By Chris Mercer www.cannedlion.co.za Sunday, 18 June 2006 This email has been sent to thousands of animal welfare and wildlife groups worldwide, and through the Enviroweb to millions of people. It is being published by BBC Wildlife magazine.
This is the true story of one black rhino cow’s ordeal at the hands of South African Conservationists. However, if you go to our website, www.cannedlion.co.za/book/rhino.htm , you will see that it has been written in plain English, which is no longer acceptable to the South African Conservation Authorities. The Government wishes to claim proudly that it has banned ‘canned’ hunting. But in fact, cunning loopholes in the new policies mean that anyone with a pocket full of dollars may still quite legitimately set a pack of dogs upon a tame captive bred lion or other animal, and then shoot it with a variety of weapons including bow and arrow and hand guns.
So what has changed? You may well ask. Actually, only the language. Although the cruel practice of canned hunting remains unaffected, the phrase “canned hunting” has been, in effect, banned. Section 17 of the new standards introduces the bizarre idea that inflicting pain on unoffending animals for fun can be done both ethically and humanely.
To assist the hunter, a definition of ‘humane’ is included in the new Standards:
“humane”, in relation to the hunting of a listed animal, means that the way in which an animal is hunted
THE LONG DAY AT KURUMAN GAME PARK.
(Picture deleted – ed)
A rhino cow was being non-consumptively utilised as a tourist attraction in Kuruman Game Park. Sentimental, urbanised people might erroneously or perhaps maliciously, describe the Game Park as a small piece of fenced land across the road from the industrial estate, but real conservationists would know that it was an ‘extended wildlife system’ as defined in the new regulations.
The ’active management’ of the rhino cow began at 9a.m. in the morning when she was approached by licensed hunters on foot in accordance with good hunting practices. She was first shot humanely at about 9a.m.with a .458 Winchester in a manner which inflicted no more than minimal suffering and did not distress any other animals in the vicinity. Thereafter she enjoyed further humane treatment from time to time during the course of the day. At 4.30 in the afternoon she was seen to be bleeding from four quarters, flanks and hind quarters but could not have been suffering more than minimal discomfort because the ethical hunter was using an approved weapon of the correct calibre. She must also have been pleased to know that the ethical hunter had a permit issued by Kimberley Nature Conservation authorities to introduce her to the doctrine of sustainable use. For all this, and mindless of her duty to be sustainably utilised for the benefit of conservation, she had unlawfully retreated into a thicket. The ethical hunter was by now shooting from his safari vehicle in accordance with good hunting practices because she was wounded, albeit only minimally. Not because he was afraid that his vehicle would get a puncture in the thicket or because he was tired from all that pulling on a heavy trigger, but probably from compassion fatigue, the ethical hunter decided at 4.30pm to pull out his cell phone and call up a helicopter from the industrial estate across the highway from the extended wildlife system. The helicopter arrived within minutes and descended upon the thicket in order to flush the rhino cow out. When she emerged she received more humane treatment from the ethical hunter’s .458 Winchester, which caused her to retreat back into the thicket. This meant that the process had to be repeated again and again. But this was the rhino’s own fault because she exhibited a marked aversion to the humane treatment she was getting.
The helicopter pilot who was for some reason upset by what he had seen and was therefore clearly not a true conservationist, alleged that she received humane treatment in this manner not less than ten times over a period of forty minutes before she agreed to be sustainably used and fell onto her knees. At this stage the hunting party were observed to break open beer cans and to take photographs in order to celebrate the success of their successful ethical hunt according to the prevailing norms of conservation society. All that humane effort must have been thirsty work. Out of a tender concern to avoid hurting the trophy parts of her body, no attempt was made to terminate her minimal suffering, and her active management was allowed to be prolonged until she eventually expired later that evening. Too much should not be made of this because every true conservationist knows that animals cannot reason and therefore cannot suffer pain as we do and there is really no ethical difference between killing a rhino and killing bacteria.
Unfortunately there are spoil sports in all walks of life and the circumstances of this hunt were leaked to some radical extremist bunny huggers who should get a life, who deceitfully reported the matter to the police in order to harm conservation in South Africa. The response of the hunting party and of the conservation authorities was, quite properly, to point out that the hunt had been conducted ethically and in accordance with good hunting practices according to the prevailing societal norms: viz. the hunter was licensed by Kimberley conservation authority; he was a qualified marksman; he was a member of a recognised hunting association which was supervising the hunt; he initially approached the animal on foot, and he used a rifle of the approved calibre to avoid causing more than minimal suffering and distress to other animals in the vicinity. The rhino cow was deemed to be wild because the enclosure in which she roamed fell within the broad definition of an extended wildlife system, wherein active management was required.
The Kimberley prosecutor, himself an avid hunter, and therefore a true conservationist, accepted these defences and declined to prosecute, saying it was impossible to prove under these ethical circumstances that she had suffered more than minimally.
For those of you who are disgusted by the way the new hunting policies seek to institutionalise cruelty to helpless animals, we ask you to send emails and letters of protest to the following:
SOME USEFUL ADDRESSES
DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL AFFAIRS AND TOURISM PRETORIA
Tel: 012 310 3955/012 310 3611
Please submit all written comments to:
The Director-General Department of Environmental Affairs and Tourism
Private Bag X447, PRETORIA, 0001
Minister of Environmental Affairs and Tourism.
Mr. Marthinus Van Sckalwyk: bburnett@deat.gov.za
For Attention: Dr Pieter Botha Or largepredator@deat.gov.za
Chief Director: Communications Mr J P Louw E-mail: louwjp@iafrica.com
Director: Communications: Ms Phindile Makwakwa E-mail: pmakwakwa@iafrica.com
Minister's spokesperson: Mr Riaan Aucamp E-mail: raucamp@deat.gov.za
Chief Director: Ministry: Ms Sindiswa Nhlumayo E-mail: snhlumayo@deat.gov.za
Director: Office of the Deputy Minister: Mr Livhuwani Mushasha E-mail: lmushasha@deat.gov.za
Director: Office of the Director-General: Ms Koekie Maphanga E-mail: kmaphanga@deat.gov.za
DON’T MISS THE 2006 BOTSOC PLANT FAIR !
The Botanical Society annual Plant Sale will be held on the weekend of 2 & 3 September, from 9am to 3pm on both days at Munies Sport’s Field in Sydenham Road - next to Durban Botanic Gardens. There is ample parking in the vicinity, and entry to the sale area will cost R5 per person.
Get the combined Catalogue and Indigenous Gardening Handbook for a donation of only R10 with loads of useful information on hundreds of affordable plants available at the fair as well as valuable gardening ideas and advice.
A bigger and better grasslands theme handbook in 2006 !!!
If possible please bring your own barrow or trolley. Plant holding bays will be made available as a free service for customers needing temporary storage.
Bring a brolly for rain or shine. The plants will thrive whatever the weather !
For more information contact: Di 082 5520441 or Wally 082 4442083 E-mail: plantnet@iafrica.com
WCPA Science, Knowledge and Management Strategic Direction Newsletter no 1.
03 July 2006 05:02
Here is the first of what we plan will be regular newsletters (this is a 7 page doc. that I am sure you can subscribe to or let me know & I’ll forward a copy to you – ed) relating to work in this Strategic Direction and its associated Task Forces. There has been a very encouraging response from WCPA members to the development of this Strategic Direction and we hope that we can build an effective and useful network of members around the principal issues we are addressing through this theme. As noted in the newsletter, please send any information or items for the newsletter or for more immediate distribution to members directly to either Robyn James or Marc Hockings. We will consolidate these into a smaller number of emails to send to the group on a periodic basis to help manage In-box overload with your email. Any urgent items will be sent immediately and, of course, there is the general WCPA list for more general items.
We hope that you find this newsletter of interest.
Cheers
Marc Hockings and Robyn James
School of Natural & Rural Systems Management,University of Queensland Gatton
Phone: +61 (0)7 54601108, Fax: +61 (0)7 54601324, Mobile: 0428 983 587
Email: robyn.james@uq.edu.au
POSITION(s) Sought
Cassius is very interested in volunteering in South Africa.
Thanks! Here is an abstract look at my career in the USA Forest Service:
I was a Threatened, Endangered, Sensitive Wildlife Biologist in the Pacific Northwest for 8 years on the Gifford Pinchot National Forest. From there, I did 2 years in Civil Rights on the National Forest in Mississippi--this primarily consisted of my working with minority landowners that own forested lands--and provided them advice on prudent land management activities they could do on their property. This involved my working with State Agencies, as well. transferred to the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest, where Iserved as a District Ranger in North Georgia. I was the line officer being responsible for the management for all natural resources management activities and administrative decisions for over 150,000 acres of National Forest (including key recreation destination points such as the Appalachian Trail) and for approximately 30 employees, respectively.
I currently serve as the Services Staff Officer for the Nebraska National Forest and Grasslands. This responsibility involves the management for all Human Resources, Geographical Information System, Public Affairs, Budgeting, Contracting, Grants and Agreements, and Engineering activities. My wildlife background as also afforded me to serve as the Natural Resources Staff Officer as well. This experience was invaluable, being that I was involved in very contentious issues involving ranchers.
The issue surrounded grazing issues versus and the management of the endangered black-footed ferret and prairie dog colonization.
Cassius M. Cash
Contact Grootvaderbosch Nature Reserve" gvbosch@telkomsa.net
Tailpiece-
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.
The winners are:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Matter of Fact
This is an electronic newsletter of the Game Rangers' Association of Africa. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the Association, nor of the Editor. This is intended to be an exchange of news snips, ideas and communication between members. Newsletter content may be copied and re-distributed without authorisation. Correspondence should be addressed to the Editor at dyunnie@xsinet.co.za