
Hi again,
Herewith, some snippets from various sources.
We have the Gameranger website up and have updated the information on it. Again I appeal to you to send me items to distribute to our members for both the Cleft Stick and to be posted on the web site. If we can make it interesting more people will look at it and we will become a better known association. It is your magazine and website, so ensure it gets the news that you would like to see in it.
Please let me have any changes to your physical address, phone no. or e-mail address to keep the database up to date.
Thanks to all of you who have made the effort. Please will any of you who know of members who do not get this “electric” Cleft~Stick, & have access to e-mail, pass their address along to me.
GRAA Regalia
It was decided at the AGM that the Trading Portfolio would be amalgamated with my duties, therefore if anyone wants to buy GRAA badges, caps, key rings and lapel pins, please will you contact me. The Price List is as follows:
Prof. Members caps R60, General Members caps R60, Supporters cap (1 only) R40, Lapel pins (metal) R20, Badges R20, Key rings R25, Decals (Licence holder) R5. All prices will be plus postage.
While on the subject of sale of regalia, 2 caps and 2 badges were taken by someone on the Saturday night at Letaba, and not paid for. I am quite sure this was an oversight, but I would appreciate receiving the money, to get the books to balance.
Don Yunnie
7 Chalet Drive, Hilton, 3245, South Africa Local Tel & Fax (033) 343 1534
Int. Tel & Fax (+2733) 343 1534 cell 082 377 7562 E-mail Don Yunnie
Game rangers’ association reflects on the past year
KRUGER NATIONAL PARK
LETABA CAMP
About 80 people attended the Game Rangers’Association of Africa’s annual get- together during which its annual general meeting (AGM) is also held.
The event took place at the Letaba Camp in the Kruger National Park and kicked off with a seminar on ‘Management effectiveness and the ranger: Building Capacity” on Thursday February 17.
Various speakers enlightened the delegates who adopted a formal resolution at the AGM in this regard.
The approximately 60 delegates resolved that they are concerned with the effectiveness of Protected Area management in Africa. They noted that international conventions and agreements require that appropriate protected area management systems are implemented and their effectiveness be assessed and reported on.
In this regard the GRAA “recommend that conservation authorities:
A field trip the following day to Massingir in Mozambique, entering from the Kruger National Park, proved an eye opener for the delegates.
At Massingir, Gilberto Vincente, head of the Limpopo National Park, presented an informative overview of developments in the Great Limpopo Transfrontier Park.
This was followed by a brief discussion on the rehabilitation of the Massingir Dam, presented by the contractor on site.
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In his report at the AGM the following day, Tim Snow, chairman of the GRAA, highlighted a number of milestones achieved throughout the year.
104 Field rangers were trained near Phalaborwa using funds obtained from the Liberty foundation of the Netherlands.
Arrie Schreiber, heading the Game Rangers Specialist Services section of the GRAA is currently looking for a new site from which to conduct the 2005 training programme.
On the recent Pondoland N2 toll road issue, Snow reported that according to information received from the Department of Environmental Affairs and Tourism, the GRAA was the only one of the 223 interested and affected parties (IAP) that opposed the road on the grounds that the relationship between the Environmental Impact Study (EIA) consultants and the developers was inappropriate and breached the statutory EIA procedure.
On the international front one of the highlights was the attendance of the GRAA at the IUCN World Congress in Bangkok in November. For the first time, the GRAA, as one of the 1063 IUCN members, used its voting powers.
Snow, representing the GRAA, also used the opportunity to increase awareness of the organisation’s Protection of the Protectors and Green Helmets programmes.
“In order to grow the GRAA we need remain committed and I encourage you all to remain involved,” said Snow in conclusion. He added: “My thanks go out to all Africa committee members for their continued work and support. Without this the Association cannot go forward.”
During an awards ceremony in Letaba Camp in Kruger on February 19th, the Game Rangers’ Association of Africa (GRAA) honoured Dr Ian Player with a lifetime achievement award, ‘The Spirit of Africa’ in recognition of his invaluable contribution to conservation in South Africa.
His conservation career has spanned more than half a century.
In his acceptance speech Dr Player quoted Andrew Little:
“Prophets do not come from the cities,
Talking of store clothes and riches.
No. They come from the wild places,
Speaking of goats
running with life and
Talking of a different kind of treasure.” As it appeared in the Heron Dance.
“The Spirit of Africa” is a new award and will only be presented when a deserving recipient is identified.
Div de Villiers, a ranger in the Eastern Cape, received the coveted Norman Dean award and gold medal, equivalent of Ranger of the Year.
Linda Spangenberg, editor of the GRAA magazine, received recognition for her efforts and so did Paul Dutton, a pilot for the Bataleurs.
Fraser Smith who has been instrumental in the protection of rhino in Africa was also recognised.
Derrick Potter and Jan Willem Sterk were awarded medals for their contributions to conservation.
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AGM Pictures
Paul Dutton is asking if anyone has a picture of him receiving his award, as they want to use it in an article they are preparing. Please contact him direct or pass on to me & I will forward it. Ta Ed
Subject: 2006 Congress another reminder
Our 2006 congress is being organised by the International Ranger Federation Consultancy (IRFC) and there is now a link from our website to the IRFC website where details will be posted. You can also go directly to the IRFC website on:
INTERNATIONAL RANGERS FEDERATION
Please circulate your members and I hope that many may be able to attend.
Best wishes,
Alison Wheeler
IRF Administrator
Tel: 00 44 (0) 1433 670046
Email: alison@int-ranger.net
This email (Threatened and Protected Species) is posted for those of you who may wish to comment.
Good afternoon everyone,
This serves to remind you that the draft lists (Threatened and Protected Species) has been published on Friday 18/02/2005 for public consultations. The closing date for public comment is 22 March 2005.
The details are as follows: Government Gazette No. 27306, Notice No.151
A copy of the draft list can be downloaded from the departmental website. http://www.deat.gov.za click on the "Species listing update "link under "Hot Issues"or "what's new"
Thank you,
Humbulani Mafumo
Species Listing Project, Chief Directorate: Biodiversity and Heritage, Department of Environmental Affairs and Tourism, Private Bag X447, Pretoria, 0001, South Africa
Contact:
Stacey Brown - (012) 310 3533, Thea Carroll - (012) 310 3799, Pamela Kershaw - (012) 310 3930
E-mail: specieslisting@deat.gov.za
Government cracks down on illegal poachers
Department of Environmental Affairs and Tourism
Media Statement
For immediate release 24 February 2005
Contact: JP Louw 082 569 3340
GOVERNMENT CRACKS DOWN ON ILLEGAL POACHERS
The Department of Environmental Affairs and Tourism, together with the South African Police Services, have raided an old farm house allegedly being used as an illegal abalone processing factory near Motherwell in Port Elizabeth today (Thursday, 24 February 2005).
Abalone to the value of more than R500 000-00 have been confiscated. Equipment valued at more than R1 m has been seized and include drying facilities, gas cylinders, two vehicles, and scales. Two suspects have been arrested.
In a separate incident this morning (Thursday, 24 February 2005) the Department of Environmental Affairs and Tourism's environmental protection vessel, the Lilian Ngoyi, busted illegal divers in the Bird Island marine protected area. Nine divers were arrested and diving equipment to the value of approximately R150 000-00 was confiscated.
Bird Island, which has been the target of abalone poachers, was declared a marine protected area in June last year. Because of increased pressures on South Africa's marine and coastal environment, marine protected areas are a crucial component of South Africa's marine conservation strategy to ensure sustainability of marine resources and sustainable coastal livelihoods.
The suspects are expected to appear in court on Monday, 28 February 2005.
Since the Lilian Ngoyi has been in operation three months ago, illegal fishing activities have substantially been curbed.
The Department took delivery of the Lilian Ngoyi in November last year, being the first of three state-of-the-art in-shore Environmental Protection Vessels commissioned by the Department in its efforts to boost fishery compliance.
Issued by
Department of Environmental Affairs and Tourism
Contact: JP Louw, Cell: 082 569 3340
Ranger divers
Hi all.
I know there are many qualified and experienced divers amomgst the ranger fraternity (myself included). The IRF is being asked to field 15 divers (possibly three teams of 5 divers) for clean up work and assessment in SE Asia post tsunami.
This will all be shallow water dives in warm water, but the higher the qualification the better (dive master and up). Funding will be available.
I need answers as in yesterday please.
Warm regards
David Zeller
President
International Ranger Federation
email: irfpresident@soft.co.za
AWARDS FOR 2005
We - the GRAA have received forms to nominate deserving people for the awards below. If any members know of members who should be nominated please forward details to me – Don Yunnie Dyunnie@xsinet.co.za
are calling for nominations for their 2005 National Geographic Society/Howard Buffett Award for Leadership in African Conservation.
They require the nomination to be accompanied by a summary (not more than two pages) of the nominee’s accomplishments relevant to this award, and a CV if available, to
John M Francis
Vice President
Research, Conservation and Exploration
National Geographic Society
jfrancis@ngs.org
www.nationalgeographic.com/conservation
The closing date for nominations is Wednesday 11th May 2005, and nomination forms may be obtained from Shoprite/Checkers stores, via the internet at www.sawoman.co.za, by contacting the organizers at 011 – 465 5225, or by email at sawoman@calibro.co.za
Each of the seven category winners will receive R10 000 in prize money, while the overall winner will receive R30 000 in prize money.
POSITION(s) AVAILABLE
Mpumalanga - Trainer/Camp Manager. R6000.00 p.m with accommodation and meals during courses, with the possibility of commission. Level 3 Nature Guiding, Lodge Catering will be a bonus, Theta Certificate and DEAT registered. Mature, reliable, responsible, must be able to work on own, good people skills, single. Duties include: Daily lectures and practical walks. Planning of menus, meals. Stock taking. General organizing and discipline in camp. Marking of test papers. Theta assessments. Tel. Tersia 013 741 1293 / E-Mail
tbodenstein@telkomsa.net
Interested individuals can contact:
TERSIA BODENSTEIN
Hi Tech Consulting, P O Box 9006, Sonpark 1206, Tel: 013 741 1293,
Fax: 088 013 741 1293
Cell: 082 749 2111
Mr Mike Balcomb is seeking a husband and wife team to manage his 500ha game farm west of Mkuze Village. Duties are general in managing such an enterprise which focuses on providing accomodation for a small number of naturalist tourists. Management of the habitat which has been impacted by excessive cattle numbers and some cotton cultervation will be a challenging aspect of the husband's duties.
Those interested need to have a pension and carry their own medical aid. A salary of R4 000/month is offered while housing and transport are provided .
Mike Balcomb may be contacted on his cell 0834587405
Position(s) wanted
I have a CV for Jaco Beker who has a BSc. degree with specialization in entomology at the University of Pretoria. Although my degree is for the specialization in entomology, I also completed all the necessary courses to qualify for the zoology degree as well. Courses passed, necessary for the degree, are listed.
If anyone can place him let me know and I will forward his CV to you - ed
Tailpiece-
we have just had St Valentines day so here are a few smiles!
WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
MARRIAGE SEMINAR
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the man, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Self raising, isn't it?
The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So,I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.
(Of course . . . I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! :-)
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
CREATION
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it,
because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
Matter of Fact
This is an electronic newsletter of the Game Rangers' Association of Africa. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the Association, nor of the Editor. This is intended to be an exchange of news snips, ideas and communication between members. Newsletter content may be copied and re-distributed without authorisation. Correspondence should be addressed to the Editor at dyunnie@xsinet.co.za

Hi again,
Herewith, some snippets from various sources.
We have the Gameranger website up and have updated the information on it. There are previous Cleft Sticks and old copies archived there and recently the information on the upcoming AGM including an Agenda for the meeting.
Again I appeal to you to send me items to distribute to our members. It is your magazine, so ensure it gets the news that you would like to see in it.
Please let me have any changes to your physical address, phone no. or e-mail address to keep the database up to date.
Thanks to all of you who have made the effort.
Please will any of you who know of members who do not get this "electronic" Cleft Stick, & have access to e-mail, pass their address along to me.
Don Yunnie
7 Chalet Drive, Hilton, 3245, South Africa Local Tel & Fax (033) 343 1534
Int. Tel & Fax (+2733) 343 1534 cell 082 377 7562 E-mail Don Yunnie
Hereunder three messages to all of you from Tim Snow!
Please at least phone Jackey on 082 447 1570 to inform her if you have made separate /reciprocal free accomodation or staff accomodation bookings.
Please note that the the 40% discount window closes on 12 January when the unbooked accomodation is returned to SANParks for public reservations.
"If you snooze you lose! If you snore you lose more!"
Tim Snow
THAILAND
In Thailand, over 5,000 people have been reported dead and more than 3,000 missing, many of them foreign tourists vacationing on the popular beaches of Phuket, Khao Lak, and Phi Phi Island. Among the fatalities were three Marine National Park rangers working on the Naucrates Turtle Conservation project on Phra Thong Island. Six were badly injured. All twelve Marine National Parks on the Andaman coast have been closed.
"I had just been down there [Surin Islands] for a visit. The infrastructure on the island was completely flattened, but the park's staff and the 180 Moken people who live there are safe - they saw the warning signs of the water going down very quickly and drawing on their local folk wisdom they knew what to expect and scrambled to higher ground. This is another lesson learned about the importance of local knowledge."
"The Tsunami has been a terrible tragedy for all those involved, and a shock for people all over the world. As we begin to rebuild, we should learn the lessons of the past and make sure Thailand's coastal tourism is achieved in a more sensitive and equitable manner, which over the long term provides a better quality of life and more sustainable fishing- and tourism-based livelihoods for local people, and a better tourism experience for their surviving relatives for generations to come."
- Robert Mather, Director
WWF Thailand Programme Office
WWF Thailand plans on establishing a coral reef recovery research and monitoring programme in the Surin Islands. Quick surveys have shown that between 2 to 10 per cent of the coral reefs in the Andaman Sea have been damaged or broken, or covered in sediment and debris. In Koh Phi Phi, a quarter of the reefs are reported to be damaged. A full survey, conducted by eight universities and coordinated by the Thai Department of Marine and Coastal Resources, will be completed shortly. In the meantime, WWF Thailand is providing information for foreign divers planning on visiting Thailand who would like to volunteer to assist in coral reef clean up efforts.
WWF is also working with other organizations on the ground, advocating for improved environmental sustainability in infrastructure reconstruction, particularly in tourism-related businesses. This will include proper land-use planning and zoning of coastal areas, enforcement of legislation, and introducing aspects of payment for environmental services. WWF Thailand will also work with the tourism industry, including hotels and dive operators to promote commitments to codes of conduct and best practice. Efforts are already underway by volunteer divers in removing heavy debris that are suffocating and crushing the fragile coral reef ecosystem. And, tourists are already inquiring about diving holidays to help out.
Looking ahead…
WWF India, Indonesia, and Thailand are working, together with WWF International and the entire WWF Network, to develop a long-term strategy to engage in the greening of reconstruction efforts. WWF recognizes that the priorities right now in the hardest hit areas are urgent human needs, such as food and shelter. But, priorities for sustainable reconstruction efforts also need to be addressed as communities begin to rebuild. An important lesson of the tsunami is that one of the best defenses against natural disasters is nature itself. Through the enhancement of natural protection features and careful coastal and land-use planning, economic and social costs of future disasters can be reduced.
*These on-the-ground accounts were put together by Mark Schulman, Managing Editor, WWF International
Wild Coast illegal cottages
From Div de Villiers
You may have heard or seen via the media that 10 illegal cottages were demolished along the Wild Coast this month. This may be of interest for inclusion as a news snippet in the Cleft Stick.
On 18th January I led a team from Eastern Cape Department of Economic Afffairs Environmnet and Tourism to demolish 7 illegal cottages that were built in the Coastal Conservation Area at Mbotyi. The following day we demolished a further 3 buildings in the coastal dune forest at Manteku.
This brings the total number of illegal cottages destroyed along the Wild Coast to more than 20. We are continuing with civil and criminal cases against more than 100 other illegal developers.
There is a simultaneous process underway to develop a biodiversity action plan for the entire Wild Coast. This looks at the possibilities for expanding protected areas and improving management of existing reserves and forests. It also explores the potential for tourism and legal nodal development.
Lions in Malawi
Anyone who can meaningfully contribute please do so direct to Sarel van der Merwe
Thanks
Subject: Lions in Malawi, Sent: Monday, January 24, 2005 10:31 PM
Dear Peter,
I'm not 100% sure of the status - but will try to get some answers. The previous African Lion Database did not include Malawi lions, two reasons :
BUT : I'm of opinion that there still might be some lions.
The following is (partially) an abstract from Philippe Chardonnet's "Conservation of the African Lion : Contribution to a Status Survey" - September 2002 (P88) :
"Lions have become locally extirpated, or very nearly so, in all but one of Malawi's nine Protected Areas. All but one of Malawi's PAs would have held lion populations, or transient animals, at their time of proclamation. In virtually all areas of the lion's previous range in Malawi, wildlife prey populations have also declined drastically (T. Ferrar, pers. comm.)."
He further speculates that there may be movement of lions cross boundary with Mozambique, but at very low frequency.
Hope this is of any value.
I am cc-ing to Philippe, in case he has later information on the Malawi lions.
A good starting point would be :
The above points are loosely offered, and if you are serious with re-introduction, we should draw up a proper management plan. (We have some real small population specialists in our group).
Looking forward to hearing from you again.
Best wishes,
Sarel van der Merwe
Chair : African Lion Working Group (IUCN/SSC), PO Box 12451, Brandhof 9324, South Africa
Tel : + 27 51 405 8484 (w) or 447 5208 (h) mobile +27 83 370 6984, Fax +27 51 405 8473 (Attn. : SJ van der Merwe), E-mail : mwnatura@mweb.co.za
, Web :www.african-lion.org
BOOKS What I tell You Three Times is True - Conservation, Ivory, History and Politics
Ian Parker
In this wide ranging narrative, which is part historical, part investigative and largely autobiographical, Ian Parker examines the perennial preoccupation of man with elephants and his pursuit of their ivory. The influence of Europeans, from Vasco da Game to present day conservation bodies, and the more recent work of game wardens (he himself worked as one in Kenya) to counter poaching are all included in this fascinating overview.
The book exposes the web of deceit and corruption surrounding elephants and ivory, involving not only Africa's post-colonial governments but also some of the conservation bodies themselves. Throughout history the trade in ivory has been intertwined with politics and economics, which to this day continue to bedevil and defy elephant conservation. Indeed the manifest misconceptions and failures of CITES and WWF as described by Parker, lead him to some uncomfortable conclusions which those concerned with the subject cannot afford to overlook. If he is right, then there are grounds for radically reviewing the whole philosophy of conservation.
He writes at times with passion, humour, sadness and frustration; none more so than about the indigenous Wata people whom we first encounter in the prologue and at last, searingly, in the epilogue. Their fortunes may provide a warning which mankind would be foolish to disregard.
"I enjoyed this book enormously. The subject matter, the parsimonious style of writing, the acerbic humour, the genuine concern for people (missing in most persons who have had much to do with wildlife), all contribute to make it one of the most valuable treatises on elephants and Africa to have been produced in the second half of the twentieth century."
Rowan Martin, Engineer, Biologist, ex-Head of Zimbabwe Dept of National Parks & Wildlife
Management Research Division, International Consultant in Conservation.
Available NOW, Softcover, 414pp, b/w photos & illustrations.
Price R228.07 + Vat R31.93 = R260.00.
Also Available Now:
Shamba Raiders: Memories of a Game Warden
Bruce Kinloch
Highly acclaimed when it was first published in 1972, The Shamba Raiders is one man's account of the eternal struggle to preserve East Africa's herds of game which were - and still are- threatened by modern civilization, poaching, war and the economic and political changes which swept Africa during the middle of the last century. During Kinloch's unique career, which included the posts of Chief Game Warden of Uganda, Tanzania and Malawi, his greatest contribution to Conservation is the founding of the College of African Wildlife Management on the slopes of Kilimanjaro. Kinloch tells a fascinating story of the efforts to retain Africa's wildlife heritage. His vivid descriptions of encounters with rogue elephants, buffalo and other dangerous animals thrill the imagination -just as much as his tales of fishing for the giant Nile perch below the Murchison Falls. This new paperback edition with a new Foreword, preface and the addition of some maps is now available. Available NOW, Softcover, 320pp.
Price R228.07 + Vat R31.93 = R260.00
Available From:
Russel Friedman Books
P O Box 73, Halfway House 1685
South Africa
Tel (011) 702-2300/Fax (011) 702-1403
Email: rholdal@rfbooks.co.za
May 5 - 8 2005
Charleston, South Carolina
More than 150 abstracts from 47 countries were received;
final list of speakers will be posted early February.
Hosted and co-sponsored by the Historic Charleston Foundation
Visit www.icomos.org/usicomos for more information and registration.
US/ICOMOS is the U.S. National Committee of the International Council on Monuments and
Sites
Donald G. Jones, PhD
Director of Programs
US/ICOMOS
401 F Street, NW, Suite 331
Washington, DC 20001
Ph 202-842-1866
Fax 202-842-1861
POSITION(s) AVAILABLE
ABU MADI GAME RANCH - Mkuze - shortly to become part of the Zululand Rhino Reserve, seeks a retired couple with own medical aid and pension, to run a small self-catering Lodge. The applicant should speak Zulu and have experience in general maintenance of Lodge and vehicles.
Phone Mike Balcomb on 035-5731233 evenings or 083-4416424 or 083-4587405
Thank you for placing our address in the GRAA newsletter. We got a response and managed to place a lodge manager for K.Z.N wildlife.
We have on our books a couple of qualified Game Rangers that are seeking employment. We have a very qualified married couple as well as a young gentleman, newly qualified. He has FGASA1 as well as THETA TGSP03. He also has a PDP.
I would greatly appreciate any assistance you could provide in helping place these people. If you require a more detailed cv on any of these persons please let me know.
Thank you for your assistance.
Yours Faithfully
Joanne Edmunds, hccrecrute@absamail.co.za
Tailpiece- for those of you who love computers
Dear tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
Matter of Fact
This is an electronic newsletter of the Game Rangers' Association of Africa. The opinions expressed are not necessarily those of the Association, nor of the Editor. This is intended to be an exchange of news snips, ideas and communication between members. Newsletter content may be copied and re-distributed without authorisation. Correspondence should be addressed to the Editor at dyunnie@xsinet.co.za
